Well it went a bit better than I thought...

Well I have had a couple of day to look over my first bit of writing in a very long time, and I must say I'm not terribly upset by the way it turned out. Yes it is a choppy at times, and I kinda lost my focus at the end there. Which is why I decided to call it part one so that way I can go back and pick up with a fresh take. I have no training in this area which is probably quite obvious, but am learning so bear with me and if you have the spare time please give notes or whatever input u have. I am here to grow as a writer and hopefully make some new friends in the process.